4th Quarter...

Browns hold the Eagles to another field goal. Akers hits it.

Eagles 23 - Browns 3. Embarrassing.

It's raining in Philly. I think it's the tears from the Browns Backers from Heaven group. They are die hard. Ok, another crude joke. I blame the Browns game play for my snide remarks.

John Runyan is one fugly individual. He has started 200 games. He looks like he's started 400 with the Ugly Stick.

The Well Educated Announcers are asking why Cribbs hasn't gotten the ball more, and why he hasn't thrown it yet. One word, fellas; inept. We are inept.

If the Browns Charities wanted to raise good money for the Holidays, they should've ran a raffle to let a fan call the plays for a game. I think Josh Cribb's neighbor would've won it. Get it? See what I'm saying? Read between the lines.

Dorsey to Dinkins. He's short of the first down. He's also short of ability.

3rd and 4. Dorsey complete to Donte Stallworth. The fans boo him. You want him back? You can have him. He costs us about $1 million per catch. Waste.

Dorsey throws a whatthehellwereyouthinking (that's a pass with zero zip that makes you ask "What the hell were you thinking") right to the Eagles defense. Another INT. Cribbs, yet? Please? I'm checking Ebay for that raffle.

No such luck. But I did bid on some Cavs socks. I have to burn my Browns ones.

I think any flick where Clint Eastwood gets to be a bad ass has to be good. His new one I think called 'Gran Torino' looks intense. Hell, he could read a Dr. Suess book to you and you'd be scared. Trust me.

Buckhalter runs to the 9 yard line. 28 yard gain. Have we given up?

Play count: Eagles with 60. Browns with 39.

McNabb hits a wide open Greg Lewis. He was so wide open, he was fined for indecent exposure. I make myself laugh.

Akers on for the kick. From now on I'm calling him Fakers.

Eagles 30 - Browns 3 - My CentSports Bet 0.

Darkness is VERY against Crennel.

Kick to Cribbs. We are robbing the cradle by not giving him a shot at QB. Get it? Cribbs...crib...cradle? Why do I have to spell these out for you?

Did Little Wayne just make a cameo in LeBron's new commercial? 'Candyman'? It was weird.

Will Smith's new movie 'Seven Pounds' opens Friday. For all I care, it can close Saturday. Looks boring. Rumor has it there's sequels coming out for I am Legend and Hancock. Who cares?

Cribbs runs to the left for no gain. We can't block. We could run a Semi Truck to the left side and get stopped.

CRIBBS THROWS IT...away. Just like my hope on a weekly basis.

Can one officially resign from being a die hard fan? Maybe take it back one notch? Not with the van, right? Thanks, Helen.

"Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second." - Ferris Bueller. (You think Romeo says the same thing?)

Dorsey throws to Stallworth. His new name going forward is NoWorth. He dropped it. Give us our money back. Outside of football it's called robbery. You go to jail for it. Where do you go? To your huge house in HappyVille. We like to be happy too. We'd be happy if you played hard and made routine plays. I'm egging your shit. I'll turn that smile upside down. HappyVille will be YolkTown by the time I'm done with your humble mini castle.

McNabb on the sidelines. When a team pulls their starters, does that mean I can call it quits on the blog?

Metsch has to be happy with the benchings.

McDonald with an interception! He just SCORED A TOUCHDOWN! We finally scored a touchdown!!! Even though it was by our defense, I love it. McDonald can really run with the ball. He can also catch. Can we play him at wide receiver? You think I'm kidding?

Phil Dawson kicks it in.

Eagles 30 - Browns 10.

If we don't go for the onside kick, Romeo must've never gotten his Christmas gift from me. That's right, I said Christmas. I know you're supposed to say Holiday gift, but guess what, it was a CHRISTMAS gift. Sue me.

Brandon McDonald has 3 INT's in 3 Monday Night Football games. That's a record. Line him up at wideout.

Browns don't go for the onside. Why the hell not? You think our defense will hold strong? Why? They haven't all game. Are we praying for an interception? You can't hope to create karma.

It's so boring at the Eagles stadium that Kendra would rather be having sex with Hugh Hefner. Yes, it's that boring.

Eckle (sp?) with the carry, twice. Gains 5 total. He's from Navy. Much respect, but I still don't know who he is.

3rd and 5. Incomplete. The fans boo. You're up by 20 and you're booing? Come to Cleveland, I'll give you something to cry about. Spoiled brats.

Eagles call a timeout. Thanks for delaying this. It's like only pulling the lever down half way with someone in the electric chair.

Eagles kick. Browns ball at their own 35. Is anyone still awake?

Ken Dorsey still throwing for the Browns. Screen to Jamal Lewis for a first down. Move those chains!

Flag down. I think I've hit the snooze button about 3 times so far.

98% of the Egales fans in the stands are wearing green. 68% are also wearing a Santa hat. 100% are ugly. I should make a pie graph.

2nd and 1o. Fumbles the snap.

3rd and 15. Shotgun. Dorsey back - tipped - and dropped by the Eagles. Yes, the Eagles. For once, we didn't drop a pass. We didn't have a chance to. That pass had about as much zip as Button Fly jeans.

Browns punt. Wait, they faked it! BROWNS SCORE! Ok, I just faked you out. We kicked it. You know damn well we wouldn't do anything creative.

Speaking of creative they just showed an Eagles fan with his face painted (looked like deep green house paint) with the words: GO BIRDS in silver. You know he's not getting that all off before tomorrow. Somebody is going to walk up to him at the Lube Stop he works at and ask why his face looks green. He'll reply, "Was at the Eagles game, man. Obviously. I got sooo wasted dude. I'm so hungover. You want to get Taco Bell?". I can hear it already.

Another Eagles fan. Entire body painted green, wearing a Santa hat. His mom must be proud.

2nd and 6. Who knew there was a game still going on?

They run. Gain about 2. 2 minute warning now. Can I hit Fast Forward?

Let's do that.

Browns lose. Again. Still raining, I'm still complaining. It rhymed.