3rd Quarter...

Browns with the ball. They are doing nothing with it, AGAIN.

Steve Heiden down, hurt.

Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe looks good. Update your GameFly and Xmas lists. Or, buy it for me. Be a buddy.

Just showed the Liberty Bell. Anyone want to go to Philly? I bet we'd have fun!

Steve Heiden has been carted off the field. Does that leave us with Dinkins? GREEEAT.

3rd and 7. Ken Dorsey throws a soft pass deep (yes, that's a ball with zero zip on it that floats 1o yards plus) and Braylon comes down with it. Braylon should get the passing yards on that.

Cribbs with a run. Gains about 6 or so. Here we go!! Let's get a TD!

Jamal Lewis gets the first! The wheels on the bus go...

Lewis with a gain of a yard. Guess the wheels don't go very far.

Ken Dorsey with a shithigh (that's a pass with zero zip that floats slowly over the head of a player) pass to Ali.

3rd and 9. "Poor Browns fans" - Announcer. You know, someone asked me, "Don't you know who announces the games? Why can't you use their names?" After shanking them with a sharp object (circa Oz from HBO), I explained: I know who the announcers are. I refuse to use their name. They don't deserve it. I don't like any of them not named Austin Carr.

Geico commercials should be banned unless they feature the Cavemen. Can we make that a law? All those in favor? I. My blog, I win. Law.

Dorsey hit, and another duck. I wonder how many times I've written 'duck' in this blog. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

"Oh, he's very popular, Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads — they all adore him. They all think he's a righteous dude." - Grace

You know you loved Grace. Say it. Go ahead.

** My Blog froze. Thank the lord for Autosave. **

Eagles have the ball at their own 27. First down throw to DeSean Jackson. He's gonna get some ladies tonight. Trust.

Westbrook for 4 yards.

Kevin Curtis for the first down. SPARE ME.

"There is no pressure on Donovan McNabb." - Announcer #2. Really, even Helen can see that. Stop giving me that look.

Westbrook runs for 3.

Jason Avant is the next Jerry Rice. At least tonight.

Balls deflected, right into Westbrooks hands (somebody hit play on Alanis's song "Ironic"). We can't catch a break.

Speaking of breaks, no word on Rogers or Heiden. Does nobody care?

3rd down coming up. Westbrook just shy.

Hank Baskett-Wilkenson with the catch for a first down.

Eagles have reached the Red Zone in all 5 drives tonight. Woop-dee-doo.

Oh, Rogers is back. Glad they announced that. Interesting fact #2: Rogers wears a 4x jersey. Yowza.

He just batted down a pass. Welcome back, welcome back, wellllcome back.

Pass complete to former Offensive Lineman, Danny Klecko.

3rd and 4. Big time. Get up C-Town.

McNabb is SACKED! Corey Williams creates the pressure, Kam Wimbley steals the sack. Bend but don't break, right? Right, Romeo?

David Akers about to kick. It's good. 34 yarder.

Eagles 20 - Browns 3. Spread is blown.

Eagles kick off deep. Cribbs takes a knee. Good, save your energy to QB. How about having him throw one?

Announcers remind us the Browns haven't scored a touchdown in about a month. Did we forget in that 6 minutes?

"You can't put lipstick on this. No touchdowns." - Announcer. They also had a lonely, zit covered intern create a visual to show how long it's been since we scored. Reminds me of Leisure Suit Larry. That dude never scored.

2nd and 10. Screen to Jamal Lewis. Zero blocking and it's no gain.

3rd down. Sometimes I wonder why I blog these. They are painful enough to watch, yet alone relive.

Ball thrown behind Dinkins. Awesome.

Cleveland State beats Syracuse (ranked #11) with a buzzer beater. Cleveland has a bright spot!

Browns kick off to Golden Child/#1 Stunner/Next Big Thing DeSean Jackson. Decent return.

Camera pans over to Kevin Kolb. Stay home. You're as bad as Dorsey.

McNabb throws it away. McNabb fired up. Sit down.

Willie McGinest tackles Westbrook from behind. Wow. He's making me eat Crow. Ok, he's not.

3rd and 11. McNabb to Avant. Philly Cheerleaders look good. There, I said it. You think blogging this shit is all fun and games? I can't have fun? No wandering eyes? Whatever. Sit down, Helen. Stop yelling at me.

McNabb to LJ Smith for 3. Who cares.

Flashback to Randall Cunningham. I have his rookie card. Want to trade? I'm looking for a David Neid, Todd VanPopple or Phil Plantier rookie card. Hit me up.

Fantasy Update on Metsch: He's up 22pts with 1 quarter left. "Intense" as he says it.

Eagles 20 - Browns 3. Still. End of 3rd quarter.