Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Marshawn Lynch is awesome! Just look at him.


Hmmm ... who might THAT be, tossin' gang signs in this photo looking like armed robber?  It's like I can almost hear him right before this pic was taken.

"Inglewood, Ingle-, Ingle-wood.  Crenshaw Blvd. in the house, yo!  Shiiiiiiiiit.  I got these jenks in my shit so I be banging, yo.  Naw, it ain't even matta, yo!  It ain't even matta!"

Yep, that's today's thug-talk.

And that waste of life standing over there to the right just happens to be a multi-millionaire.  His name is Marshawn Lynch.

From day one I've always said this guy looks like a criminal and probably smells like one too.  I even passed him up in my fantasy draft this year because I wouldn't be able to live with myself having such a crapbag play on my team.  He's dirty.

And he's the latest big-name athlete to have a brush with the law.  During a traffic stop Lynch was riding as a passenger in an SUV and during a subsequent field investigation, the officers discovered that he was carrying a concealed weapon.

No surprise there.  I mean, just look at it.  It's barely a human being.

Lynch's attorney is going to run with the defense that his client was not even a part of the traffic stop, that the situation didn't need to involve him and a search of his person violated his rights.

Sorry dude, but when a cop pulls over a tinted-out SUV rolling on 75-inch rims, and the SUV is full of people and the officer smells marijuana, he has a right to pat everyone down if he so pleases ... for officer safety.  If something is found during the pat-down, then oh well, you're fu@#ed.  That's just how it goes.

Let me just say it how I think it is:

Marshawn Lynch and a handful of other athletes who have racked up criminal records after becoming professional athletes are just plain idiots.

If with my job I made anything close to a million dollars a year, I would definitely do everything I could not to jack that up.  I'd be cautious.  Not to say that I don't already, but I'd do EVERYTHING by the book.

But with this case and many others, I call 'em like I see 'em.

And Marshawn Lynch is nothing more than a crackhead thug steroid-injecting monster of society.  Perception is reality and that is my perception of him ... which therefore makes it my reality of him too.  How did he even get into college?  There's some shady business going on there.  His major?  Social Welfare.  Ha!  That's hilarious.  Ever hear him talk?  No way that dude is getting into Cal.  Strings had to have been pulled and I seriously doubt he applied himself in any way academically.  The coaching staff probably took care of that.  I mean, Marshawn had far more important things to do, like learn which holes to run through when the quarterback called certain plays.  He probably didn't even learn that.  The huddles on gameday probably sounded something like this:

QB1: "I-right, 98, dragon-pull on red two."

Lynch: "Where I go?"

QB1: "I'll hand it to you on the right side (gestures with finger), then you just run between #61 and #73.

Lynch: "Aiiight."

QB1: "And remember, don't move until after I say 'red' the second time.

Can't these guys (mostly NFL players) hire security teams to protect them.  Just think of it.  They could blend in with the crowd these athletes frequent by dressing like all the other gangbangers.  Sure, people would probably notice them, but they wouldn't know they were part of a hired security force.  They would just think they were a drug dealer and everything would be cool.

Oh, wait ...

That's right.  The type of professional athletes that NEED security because they hang with all these other dysfunctional members of society probably can't afford to hire good, sound people to protect them - even though they have multi-million dollar contracts.  That's because they are no different than all the poor thugs and spend their money on material things like a full-fledged fleet of $250,000 cars sitting on a set of $20,000 rims.  And with the excess money that these thug athletes make, they probably spend it on drugs, guns, escorts, (if they are lucky) a mansion, and thousands of dollars in child support.

So maybe if their priorities were straight they wouldn't be caught in the situations they are so frequently being caught in.  I mean, is it really necessary for a millionaire to hang out at a dingy strip club at 3 o'clock in the morning?  Why not throw a pole or two in your mansion and have the guys over, hire some dancers, then drink your liquor and have your lap dances "in-house?"  That'd be much smarter than bee-boppin' up and down the streets like the 'bangers wearing black hoodies with their pants sagging halfway down their asses slanging rocks and breaking into cars.

But who am I to judge.

2 comments:

BelieveLandBlogs said...

I just don't understand these athletes. You have it ALL.

Money.
Fame.
Women.
Glory.

Maybe we overpay these athletes?

Maybe they truly don't understand what glory even means?

They all believe and feel they are bigger than the game. Maybe one day, hopefully in our lifetime, the game won't want them?

Anonymous said...

perfect!