Thoughts For Sunday

As my morning commute took me over one hour today, it finally dawned on me:

Winter is here. Winter, who is a person by the way, is like a grade school bully that comes around for a few months, then his parents move their trailer and he's gone as fast as he came. You know what I'm saying. Anyways...

As Winter blew my car around this morning, slowed traffic to the pace of George Burns in a three mile hurdle race, my lightbulb came on. I need to make sure I have all my gear for Sunday.

Sun
Nov 23Partly Cloudy

40° High 33° Low

10%

Now, 40 isn't really that bad. You think 40 and you think cargo shorts, Browns tshirt that mysteriously "lost" it's sleeves and sandals. Don't be that guy. Bundle up, don't try to be a caveman and then stand there, shivering against your own will, while your skin turns blue.

Few tips:

Tip #1: Cover your tips. That means your toes, nose, ears and fingers. Nose you ask? Yes. A mask that cuts the wind off your face is a huge help. Wear a winter hat. Duh. For your feet, I recommend flannel socks, with some baby powder in them. Why baby powder? It keeps your feet dry. Too warm of feet start to sweat. Moisture = cold. Trust me, don't be a jerk. Get some boot warmers from your local Sporting Goods Store. Get extra, these things hold a street value somewhere between Crystal Meth and Crack Cocaine right around kick off. For your hands, waterproof gloves are a must. Try to get some with grip on them, for your cup of beer, obviously. I just bought these:

Link. Click Here. $15 w/ $7 S&H. Got them the other day, and they are all sorts of fantastic.

Hand Warmers. Hand Warmers. Hand Warmers. See their street value above.

Tip #2: Whiskey. Pretty self explanatory, isn't it? Any type will do really. I recommend Crown Royal, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, or if the economy has you down, Evan Williams. Evan is actually really good. Check it out.

Tip #3: Longjohns. No, they aren't stylish. Yes, Megan's longjohns come up to her chin. But they keep you warm. Well worth the "Worst Dressed" vote. That being said, to all the ladies that tailgate: it's NOT a fashion show. You may think you look cute in the jean skirt with the thin orange leggings, but when we hear you bitching for 6 hours about how cold you are, your cute factor drops by 7. Therefore if you WERE a 10 before tailgating, you are now a 3. If you were a 6, well, you get the hint. Moving on...

Tip #4: Eat. Put down some food. Does the food keep you warmer? Well, maybe, I'm not sure. What I do know is if you follow #2 mixed with tips from #1 of gloves to hold your beer, if you don't eat, you won't see the game. This may be the most important tailgating tip I can ever give you. EAT BEFORE YOU DRINK. EAT WHILE YOU DRINK. EAT WHILE YOU PEE. Ok, I just crossed the line. But seriously, take a chip into the pee tent, we won't judge you. Well, maybe we will, but it'll be behind your back, so no harm no foul.

I think that's all the tips I have for now. I may have more later, but it's hard to type with these gloves on.