How can you not love Shaquille O'Neal?
His Shaqship was shocked — shocked! — the Orlando Magic had the nerve to double-team him Thursday night, even though the Magic's starting center, Dwight Howard, likes to call himself "Superman."
Shaq is old school. He comes from a time when men were men and superheroes were superheroes.
The essence of his message to Howard on Thursday was this: "I was Superman before you were Superman. And besides, you ain't really even Superman, so stop calling your tired self that, anyway."
The only thing missing was a "Why, I oughta ... " from Shaq.
"When I was coming up," said the world's largest human being, "there was Patrick Ewing and Hakeem (Olajuwon), I never doubled anybody. You tell me who the real Superman is. Don't compare me to nobody. I'd rather not be mentioned. I'm offended.
"Don't let them (the Magic) double team me and make it a him vs. me thing. Eighteen years straight, Hakeem, Patrick, Rik Smits, Tim Duncan, David Robinson, the best of the best, straight up. I never doubled nobody, nor have I ever asked for a double team."
Got that?
Just to make sure reporters did, at the end of his postgame rant, the big fella got downright Shaqeloquent: "Superman, my (butt)."
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