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10. How will Shaq enjoy a Cleveland winter? It's surely no LA, Miami or Phoenix warm winter. I'm thinking fur coat, and a Ushanka. Somebody get him the address to Mike the Hatter ASAP. You heard it here first.
9. What happens to Usher? With the amount we are paying Shaq this year, I think he's a larger minority owner than the master of 'You Make Me Wanna'. Maybe they'll do a song together? It could be called, "Remember When People Played My Music & Thought I Was Cool?" by Usher and Shaq.
8. Where will Shaq live? Some are saying Avon Lake, Westlake, maybe even Downtown. Whereever it may be, somebody needs to get him the number to Norton Furniture immediately. You aren't a Clevelander until Marc creeps you out.
7. What happens to Z? When contacted to see his reaction to the trade, Z simply responded, "Shaq? I haven't turned on my Genesis in years. That game sucked. Stop calling me."
6. What will Shaq drive? I think it's only respectable that he drives a Browns mobile that you'd see in Muni Lot on a Sunday morning. If you want to fit in around Cleveland it's either that or an illegal Hummer.
5. What does Jay Z think? Now that Shaq's here, and DeShawn Stevenson is old news, is he still spendin' the night with a chick you've been dating? Remember; know the difference 'tween a king and a pawn.
4. Will the Cavs now bring back Damon Jones? Everyone knows The Diesel and DJones were tight. That being said, this town is only large enough for one larger than life personality and can only handle one bad suit representing every year at the All Star Game. Shaq stays, DJones stays...away.
3. What does this really mean to Cleveland? Well, Shaq will help the local economy by booking studio time around the city, he will crack down on crime as he is a certified Police helper, he has more rings than the entire Cavs team combined, and he also hates Kobe Bryant as much as you do. Sounds like a no brainer.
2. Is Shaq the final piece that Cleveland has been looking for? Yes. Bone Thugs now has all the tools for a major comeback.
1. If Shaq goes to XO, will he actually leave a tip?