Why I bleed Orange and Brown

Why I bleed Orange and Brown

by Coach

Welp, here's a Browns blog for ya.

Although this year is still somewhat exciting for Browns fans – considering BB Romeo finally grew some testicles and benched the late Terry Schiavo's long-lost brother Derek Anderson, and actually started fan-favorite, hometown boy, chick magnet, football stud, Notre Dame grad Brady Quinn – the Browns still suck.

I know, it's hard to read those words. They burn your brain in cursive lettering as they do my own, but let's not kid ourselves here … the Browns have issues. One half of the season and the defense is smothering opponents while the offense chugs along like a streaking Frank the Tank. Second half of the season starts and the offense starts coming around and the defense, for whatever reason, is completely non-existent.

Aggravating, huh?

So while I remain a loyal Browns fans (registered Browns Backer, loyal Browns follower since the glory days of the mid-1980s when I was a 7-year-old with an orange dog bone painted on my face), I will take some time to remind myself of how I have come to love the most underachieving team since 1964 (the last year the Browns won a championship). Yeah, it's been 44 years.

So here are my Top 10 Browns moments …

10. Sept. 16, 1990, when Eric Metcalf returned the opening kickoff against the New York Jets for a 98-yard touchdown. I don't know exactly why, but that moment sticks out in my mind when I think back to those teams from 1985-1993. It's one of my all-time favorite Browns highlights. I remember everyone spilling chips and beer all over the place! By the time everyone calmed down I had salsa in my hair and the dog was lapping up some jalapeno pepper juice.

9. Dec. 17, 1995, final Browns game at the old Cleveland Municipal Stadium. One reason this was so great was because Art Modell was not there to see it. Yeah, his sorry ass was probably already in Baltimore. Either that or sitting in a plush armchair inside his Waite Hill mansion. At any rate, the Browns beat the Bengals 26-10. Testaverde had 2 TD passes and 241 yards through the air. Orange and Brown-version Matt Stover booted 4 field goals. And best of all, our beloved Earnest Byner was a Brown again and he finished the day with a laboring 31 carries for 121 yards rushing. He also had 7 receptions to lead all Browns receivers. The emotions every Browns fan had on that day were mixed. We were obviously so proud of our team to go out with a bang, but also so confused and dejected because we did not know if we'd see football in Cleveland ever again.

8. Sept. 12, 1999, the first game back! Yeah, we lost to Pittsburgh 43-zip, but the only thing that mattered to millions of NFL fans (non-Browns fans included, too) was the mere fact that the Cleveland Browns were a NFL franchise once again!

7. Nov. 4, 2008, when BB Romeo stated to the media: "I felt like we needed a different dynamic on the offense. It was just time, so I did it." Amen! Finally Brady Quinn gets to start a regular season NFL game. And this time the new quarterback seems to the long-lost Cleveland savior. Well, at least a lot more than any other of the never-ending list of starting quarterbacks since 1999. Think about that crop of down-syndrome babies that drooled their way through youth leagues, played in weak college conferences and wound up playing for the Browns and then consider how good Brady Quinn fits into the lineup. It's line night and day. First we had Tim Couch. Although when we drafted him he seemed to be the next Bernie Kosar, he never came close. Then it was Ty Detmer. Ha! Then it was Doug Pederson. Haha! Then it was Spergon Wynn. Hahaha! Then it was Kelly Holcomb. Hahahaha! Then it was Jeff Garcia. Hahahahaha! Then it was Luke McCown. Hahahahahaha! Then it was Trent Dilfer. Hahahahahahaha! Then it was Charlie Frye. Hahahahahahahaha! And then it was Derek Anderson. This guy took advantage of a super-weak schedule and a good supporting cast, had 3-4 good games last year and choked the other 20-21 games he started. The joke was on us. Hahahahahahahahaha!

6. Oct. 31, 1999. Halloween! And the Cleveland Browns earn their first win as a new franchise in a 21-16 nail-biter over the New Orleans Saints. Tim Couch connected with Kevin Johnson for a 56-yard score late in the game to turn a 2-point deficit into a 5-point victory! Browns were officially back on the map after starting out 0-7.

5. Sometime on my deployment between Sept. 1, 2005 and March 14, 2006, when I won the Browns-Bengals argument in the battle over which is the better Ohio team. Me, being from Northeast Ohio and an obvious Browns fan, took on a guy named Chris who was a Bengals fan from Cincinnati. The twist? A guy from Columbus who was stuck in the middle and was a lifelong OSU Buckeyes fan but could never decide if he liked the Browns or the Bengals more. Even his family was split. Jacob would watch Browns-Bengals games with half the family in Cincinnati gear and half the family in Cleveland gear. Yet here was Jacob, wearing Buckeyes garb, confused. For almost 6 months Chris and I went back and forth trying to convince Jacob that our team was better than the other guys team, citing all sorts of history and stats and fan details. In the end, Jacob knew he had to finally pick one team over the other. Well, he wound up choosing the Cleveland Browns. And for the last month of our deployment this guy read up on all sorts of Browns history so that he could get caught up and educated like all other Browns fans and in the end … well, let's just say Jacob is now probably the most loyal, most well-rounded, most educated, most knowledgeable and smartest Browns fans I know. This dude bleeds Orange and Brown. He even took military leave and bought tickets for the same game that I go into detail about in Top 10 Moment #3. And he actually found us in the Muni Lot, sporting a weeklong unshaven face and a Brian Sipe throwback pulled over an orange Browns hoodie, hootin' and hollerin' like a madman. Browns win!

4. Sept. 16, 2007. After losing Week 1 to the Steelers by a score of 34-7, we entered Week 2 against the Cincinnati Bengals and would up in a classic shootout! My in-laws were visiting from Ohio and all the girls went shopping, leaving myself and my father-in-law, Jeff Hebert, to go watch the Browns game at a Cleveland sports bar in Virginia Beach. It was MAYHEM! We drank Sam Adams like it was going out of style and by the end of the first half, Anderson had just hooked up with Winslow for a 25-yard score to put the Browns up 27-24. Holy crap! How were the Browns scoring so much??? We had no idea the Browns would have one of their most exciting seasons ever, finishing 10-6, and that made this game all the more exhilirating! It was a back and forth game for the entire second half. Every time the Bengals would make it a one-possession game, the Browns would score again, and again, and again. Edwards caught two TD passes of more than 30 yards, and Lewis had a big 66-yard TD run. By the end of the game, Anderson had 328 yards passing and 5 TDs, Lewis had 216 yards rushing and 1 TD, Edwards had 8 catches for 146 yards and 2 TDs, Winslow had 6 catches for 100 yards and 1 TD, and hometown boy Joe Jurevicius had 4 catches for 44 yards and 2 TDs. Final score: Browns 51, Bengals 45. An instant classic and one more Browns moment I will never forget!

3. Dec. 24, 2006. When my number one dawg Joe Strailey set up a perfect Sunday morning for me, then a Navy dude returning home for the holidays to visit family and friends. He hooked up tickets in the Dawg Pound for a game the Browns lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 22-7. The score and the game didn't really matter much though, because the most important thing was the fact that I got to see and catch up with old pals all morning long in the Muni Lot, tailgating like it was 1964! Everyone had on all their favorite warm Browns apparel and the cold weather on that day didn't phase any of us. We started out meeting up in Willoughby bright and early at 7 a.m. Then we stopped off at a BP fuel station in Euclid at 7:30 a.m. to load up on brews. I kicked it old school and went with the Beast Ice. Mistake. We were parked by 8 a.m. and all set up and jamming to classic rock jams by 8:20 a.m. The beers were cold but somehow made us all the more cozy as we settled into our home away from home. We played some cornhole. We high-fived each other and just about every stranger that walked by. We saw old friends who couldn't help but notice the ruckus we were creating at our camp among all the other crazy tailgaters. We owned the Muni Lot! We stood out! We bonged beers! We joked around with Cleveland PD, the roughnecks with handlebar mustaches, circa 1982. And the next thing I know I wake up in Joe's apartment back in Willoughby and everyone there is passed out. It's 6:30 p.m. and there are about 10 large pizzas sitting on the dining room table, untouched … cold. I rubbed my eyes and thought, "Holy shit, what the fuck just happened?!" Answer? Browns Fever Baby!

2. Dec. 4, 1988. That morning my Dad told me to reach into his back pocket. I was a 9-year-old boy, confused. Like, "Why, Dad?" He was like, "Just do it." So I reached into his pocket and pullet out two high-gloss, shiny, mint-condition tickets for the Browns game that afternoon against the Dallas Cowboys. I will never understand to this day, but the tickets had a picture of Herschel Walker with his shirt off in a locker room printed on them. I didn't care, I was excited because this would be my first-ever Browns game in person. I had watched the Browns every-single weekend since I could remember but I had never been to Municipal Stadium for any reason other than watching the Indians. But the Browns were different. It was early December and it was cold. I helped my Dad make some hot chocolate and boil some hot dogs and we went to the game and it was glorious (that was back when you could take your own concessions into the stadium). The Browns won the game in dramatic fashion. Reggie Langhorne started off the scoring with a huge 73-yard TD reception from none other than Bernie Kosar on the opening drive. We had our seats on the 50-yard-line and seeing Langhorne go over the middle and sprint down the field untouched was the most amazing sports highlight I had ever seen at that point in my life. Walker had a huge game, running for 134 yards and 1 TD, but Kosar had an even bigger game, throwing for 308 yards, 3 TDs and no picks. In the two years previous to this one my Dad took my older two brothers to games for some one-on-one father-son Browns bonding, but this was my year and since I was so young I never saw it coming. I will remember that day for as long as I live!

1. Dec. 25, 1987. Christmas morning! When I was an 8-year-old Dawg Chomper painting my face every weekend for a Browns party at either my parents' house or one of my two uncle's houses (a 3-week rotation of chile-tacos-chile). Well this particular Christmas my Dad went to Haney's Sporting Goods in the Painesville Shopping Center and had a Browns jersey customized for me with #86 on front and back and "B-R-E-N-N-A-N" on the back. Yes! Brian Brennan was my favorite Brown and I wore that jersey longer than I should have. When I finally realized I would no longer fit into it like a normal person I hung that brown piece of glory up in my bedroom well into my high-school years. What a moment that was. I had a customized jersey before they even had customized jerseys for fans to wear on gameday. Sure they sold Kosar and Matthews jerseys, but nobody had Brennan. I was the man! Thanks Dad!